About Me
I’m Sean. Like a tabloid columnist or a spirit medium, I make shit up for a living.
I was born the last of fourteen children to a former Albanian Olympic gymnast and the last professional bear-throttler in Scotland. After I left full-time education at the age of 7 I moved into the biosciences and was the creator of the first chimaera species of alpaca using tropical fruit DNA (the ‘Bananallama’), tragically overshadowed by the whole ‘Dolly the Sheep’ business. In later years I accidentally became Pope for three days, flattened a mountain in China with a single punch in order to clear the way for the world’s largest musical birthday card factory, and sang backing vocals for Nickelback, where I was tragically unable to prevent them recording a string of terrible, terrible albums. In 2008 I became the first man to set foot on Jupiter, but lost my consequent Nobel Prize when I was caught enjoying carnal relations with an endangered species of marmoset in the Royal Box at Ascot.
See how easy it is? Honestly, anyone could do this.
My editor at Headline UK, Vicki Mellor, holds world English rights to THE LEVELS and its sequel, along with a litre of my blood, the larger of my testicles, and several of my legion of children in her basement, where they are forced to listen to Celine Dion and endlessly recite the Pledge of Allegiance backwards on pain of further reprisals.
My agent is Luigi Bonomi at LBA, and he can be contacted via his handlers in the FSB through the usual dead-letter drop.
Seriously, if I’m too lazy to go googling their details and pasting them here, there’s no reason you should follow suit.
That’s not true about Vicki, by the way. I’m pretty sure it’s Mariah Carey.
Got a question or a comment about this? Write it on the Wall.
Hello, whoever you are. I'm Sean Cregan, author of the gothic-punk contemporary urban thriller The Levels, and this is my "official" site. Here you can find out about the book and its sequel and poke around in the extras available for reading and downloading. If you want to reach me, leave a message on the Wall (for which you'll need to take two seconds to register - don't worry; I'll only spam you with the most discerning of adverts for Viagra and Cambodian mail-order brides - or if you've already done that, to log in) or you can seek out my personal tumblelog here, or my Twitter account, because I'm woefully bad at answering email.